Juggler of words and children…collector of pottery shards
Imagine. Imagine for just a moment that you were destined to live a life of invincibility. Imagine that there was a force so powerful surrounding your life that it transcended whatever sorrow, loss or heartbreak that came your way and turned the very circumstance of what should have been destruction and doom into blessing and hope. Imagine.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
This powerful truth was made evident in my life over and over again during our adoption journey. God even seized and transformed the greatest sorrow of all – Claudine’s rejection of me.
What a poignant turn of events, that the daughter whom I had pursued so passionately would cast me aside. I was certain however, that God had called me to be her mother and I was determined to fulfill that role to the best of my ability. So there I was, providing for her, feeding her, and cleaning her when she was dirty. I gave hugs and kisses which were then wiped off or brushed away. I loved her.
Upon my arrival, this child who did not even own the clothes on her back was suddenly clothed in beautiful dresses, hair bows and shoes. She who was sick now had the promise of the best medical care money could buy. The one who was lost was now found. Once an orphan but now a daughter.
But she was so small, so wounded, and so needy. She did not understand.
God however, was faithful to his promise and as I prayerfully, and faithfully served this beautiful child, he began to reveal to me just how much he loved me.
“You were not so different from her when I found you,” He seemed to say.
It was true. I was so, so needy when God entered my life. Longing to be loved, I was spiritually dirty and hungry but just like my little girl, I preferred the familiarity of need to the newness of blessing.
Then, God chose me and blessed me, and he did it not because I wanted Him (I was content to stay where I was) but because He loved me. He cleansed me, fed me from his table, and clothed me with righteousness. He disciplined me as a precious child. He comforted me.
He adopted me.
What an amazing truth!
I thought of this so much as Claudine rejected me and I realized that I was extraordinarily blessed to live out in a limited way an Earthly picture of Christ’s sacrifice and love because in doing so, God revealed to me just how much he loved me and if the God of the universe loved me like that, what was there to fear?
That, my friend, is transcendence.
And that is the power of the Cross.
We returned to the visa office on the day before we were scheduled to fly home. This time however, the officer came into the waiting room with a smile and as she placed both girls’ visas in our hands said, “I’m really glad it worked out for you guys. You are a nice family.”
“Thank you, I replied “Thank you for everything.”
“How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.” Ephesians 5:1 (The Message)
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