Sherri Gragg

Writer. Mom. Daydreamer. Dog's Best Friend.

Laughter in Her Eyes

Whenever I was sick as a child, I had the same nightmare.  In my dream I was in a cavern which had two large rooms divided by a steep pathway formed by some long ago underground river.  I stood in one room; my mother stood in the other.  Just as I began walking toward my mother, a sudden avalanche of huge bolders descended, blocking my way.  The sound was deafening and I was terrified by the sheer force of the crashing rocks.

Then, the avalanche would die away and the quiet left in its place seemed as intense as the fury which had gone before it.  In utter silence, the dust settled to reveal my mother still standing on the other side, but no longer alone.  Beside her was a little girl whom I had never seen before and I watched as my mother turned to the child and handed her a small yellow flower.  My heart broke as I realized I had been replaced….forgotten.

That dream came to my mind tonight as I was thinking about this past week.  The emotional avalanche has passed and in its place is the quiet of recovery, adaptation and the business of getting on with life.  Just as in my dream, the dust settles to leave me pondering the losses sustained but that is where the similarities end because that is where my childhood nightmare always ended.  In real life, I found in the aftermath not only sadness but traces of God’s grace, and hints of hope.

I gained my bearings to find my daughter standing there and to my astonishment there was laughter and joy in her eyes.  There have been plenty of tears along the way but somehow she still postively exudes joy.  I listened and the quiet was broken by her infectious laughter that comes so, so easily.  There in the dust left behind by destruction I found her footprints and the pattern revealed she had been dancing.  

 Somehow, she has remained vibrant, loving and breathtakingly beautiful inside and out.

Yes, she is a bit scarred by all she has been through, but what is astonishing to me is she came through with her spirit intact.

I could not help but cry again, but this time with tears of joy.  I had to stop and shake my head at the wonder of it all.  I thought about how I chose the title “Everyday Miracle” for this blog and I realized she is my greatest miracle of all.  There have been so many times I worried about her but suddenly I realized deep, deep down in my soul that I need not worry any longer.  She has survived so much already.  By the grace of God she has what it takes.  She is going to make it. 

There is still laughter in her eyes and it is time to move on…..

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2 comments on “Laughter in Her Eyes

  1. lori
    July 19, 2007

    i love your blog so keep it coming!!

    lori (http://fromourbunchtoyours.blogspot.com/)

  2. totaltransformation
    July 20, 2007

    And I thought I had bad dreams. It must have been horrible to dream that as a child.

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This entry was posted on July 18, 2007 by in adoption, children, Christianity, family, God, hope, inspiration, motherhood, parenting.
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